I have trouble sleeping.
There are a variety of reasons: I used to have really severe restless leg ((Something called Rapid Limb Movement, with a score 100% higher than the classifiction of ‘severe’)) until a few months ago when I started on a treatment for it; I have mild sleep apnoea ((Quite embarrassing to admit, because it’s the kind of thing that is usually associated with older, heavier people than me.)); I sometimes over-think things and stare at the ceiling for hours while the day repeats in my head, or run through the following day instead. I sometimes have to read a book until my eyes are literally closing, even if I know it means a short night’s sleep, to ensure I’m not going to wake myself up thinking things through.
The reason doesn’t really matter, thought. What matters is the effect. A bad night’s sleep, or even just a shorter night’s sleep than is ideal, has a disproportionate impact on my productivity during the day, not to mention my mood.
I’ve become adept at functioning relatively normally – or at least appearing to – when I’m in the office, but it bothers me that the effort of doing that often means I’m not able to do it when I’m at home.
Sleep matters more than most of us think it does. Ensuring a good night’s sleep can make the world seem like a different place and provide a stability of mood that’s less and less possible when you’re not fuly rested. I struggle with that a lot, but the fight is on-going.
The irony, of course, is that the harder you try, the less likely you are to win.