Harper Lee tells us “You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view, until you climb into his skin and walk around in it.” The question we have to ask is this:
How often do we actually walk in another’s skin and how much do we just project our thoughts and feelings onto them instead?
How often does someone look at a person in a wheelchair and think how awful it must be because they can’t imagine being deprived of their mobility?
How often does someone immediately dismiss the views of another person because they don’t match with their own?
How often does someone think they’re being compassionate when they’re actually being patronising?
I certainly know how often people used to call me “brave” because of the way I dealt with (deal with, but less obviously now) cystic fibrosis and its life-altering, life-shortening effects.
But I’ve never been brave.
It’s not brave to wake up an hour before everyone else because I need to fit in a physio session and nebuliser.
It’s not brave to take time off work when you’re too ill to get out of bed.
It’s not brave to spend months of a year in a hospital room.
It’s life.
But almost no one stopped to properly walk in my skin and understand that it’s not brave to simply live your life. No matter how you deal with the adversity thrown at you, it’s not brave. It’s life.
Next time you find yourself dismissing someone’s views, next time you find yourself feel sorrow or pity or sadness for a disabled person, next time you find yourself in a tough conversation at work, don’t project your views onto them.
Stop and really think about what it’s like in their skin. It’s likely to be very different than you first think.
This post first appeared on my Linkedin profile.